Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 Parenting Strategies

Struggle is not part of the natural order of life. So it does not have to be part of parenting either.  If we choose to utilize Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 intentionally we will experience a happier, more peaceful, and respectful home.*  Yes!  This can even mean eliminating toddler tantrums and teenager standoffs!  Remember, you are always creating your own reality, whether you are creating it consciously, or not.  Choosing Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 as a lifestyle means you are choosing what you create, what the Universe reflects back to you in your reality.  Reality is an illusion, a projection of what you believe.

*If you are reading this blog, you are attracted to this information, so we are in alignment!  This information is for those who are attracted to it.  As always, take what you want and leave the rest. Two questions I ask my coaching clients when they feel resistance upon hearing this Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫  take on parenting are, “How’s it going so far?” and “What do you have to lose by trying something new?"

What is Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 Parenting?  Understanding that everything is attraction - there is no assertion.  So just like with everything else (the formula is always the same), the behavior we experience in our home we have attracted to us by our focus, beliefs, emotions, thoughts and actions (focus then BETA).

Five Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 Parenting Tips:

 Tip #1:

Be gentle with yourself.  You’re doing the best you can and want the best for your kiddo(s). Every step of the way you have done the best you could with what you knew at the time.  Breathe in, breathe out, relax your shoulders down your back (really do this) and smile and know this in your heart.  Feel this in your heart before you read on.

If you’re reading this you’ve likely experienced some challenges with your child(ren) and that's OK!  You didn’t screw up!  Challenge shows us what we do prefer, choose and resonate with by showing us what we don’t prefer.  It is a natural part of life.  The important thing is that you focus on that which you DO prefer and not what you DON'T prefer. Most of my clients are focusing on what they don’t prefer...telling stories about it over and over again to anyone who will listen, explaining it to others, complaining about it, analyzing it, posting about it, blogging about it, etc.  I teach and coach to instead focus on that which you prefer…the feelings you choose to experience, such as ease, relief, satisfaction, excitement, knowingness, expectation, happiness, harmony and peace.

I believe in and utilize hands on tools.  A concept is a concept and that’s fine but if I had a nickel for every person who knows many a concept but doesn’t utilize them, well…..  

Start with you and get into alignment first.  That means taking time for you to get into alignment — meditate, practice yoga, go for a walk, journal, take a bath, take a shower, drink tea/coffee intentionally, read, garden, bake, etc.  I call these "permission slips," and we may choose which resonate with us in that moment and use it if it feels like your highest excitement, if it resonates with you.  It doesn't matter if it works for someone else, does it make your heart sing?  Then do it!  Getting into alignment also means not listening to your inner critic who will blame and judge.  Getting into alignment means taking your inner being off the bench and listening to your inner being instead.  Your inner being never judges or blames - you or another.  Your alignment = the level of connectivity with your inner being, your higher mind, who is a reflection of your authentic self.  How do you know if your inner being is speaking?  It always feels good.

You have a brand new moment - NOW - during which you may choose to begin again with your child(ren) employing these Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫 parenting strategies! You have a blank canvas in front of you - this moment - on which you may choose to create anything you want.  What are you going to paint?

Tip #2: 

The people around us, especially those closest to us (like our child(ren), reflect and respond to our own feelings and actions. As much as we would like to blame our kid(s) for his/her/their behavior (especially when he/she/they are pushing every button we have, plus some we never knew we had!), generally our kid(s) mirror what is going on within us.

Some questions to ask yourself, and do your best to be open to hearing the honest answer:

- How am I contributing to my child(ren)'s behavior? (Gulp!) 

- Is my child (are my children) responding to my lack of patience, my feeling stuck and powerless, my feeling unworthy and/or not good enough, my feeling frustrated, my feeling that life is hard, and my stress?

- Is my child (are my children) wanting quality time with me because I haven’t been giving her/him/them much one on one time lately?

- Is/are my kiddo(s) no fun to be around because I am no fun to be around lately (another gulp!)?

Answering these questions openly and truthfully can quickly get to the root of your child(ren)'s behavior.

Tip #3:

You are modeling for your child(ren) how to behave each moment of every day.  Your mic is always on.

Children watch what we do more than they listen to what we say. Words don’t teach. So if you yell at her/him/them to be quiet, push her/him/them to do what you want him/her/them to do and use a disrespectful tone when frustrated—you teach her/him/them how to treat you. So stop and take a breath and make a commitment to walk your talk. Model for your child how a happy, healthy and in alignment person looks, talks and acts. Then watch her/him follow your lead!!  And when you are out of alignment, take a break, walk away and get back into alignment before you interact with your kiddo(s) again.  Be clear about it, again modeling for her/him/them: “Hey, I am out of alignment so I’m going to take a break and get back into alignment and then I’ll be back!"

Tip #4:

You are your child(ren)'s most powerful self-worth mirror.

Your child(ren) seek(s) approval from you more than anyone else. You are the mirror that tells her/him/them how deserving or unworthy they are. She/he/they will believe whatever you reflect to them/her/him—positive or negative. Overt and even subtle put-downs can be devastating to her/his/their sense of self-worth and well being. When a child has low self-esteem she/he/they will often act out, misbehave and drive you nuts! By using the power of positive words and actions to encourage, rather than discourage, you can be a beacon of light illuminating your child(ren)'s worth. This gift of positive mirroring can inspire your child(ren) to believe in herself/himself/themself, follow her/his/their passions and ultimately be someone who is a delight to be around. Therefore, choose to reflect your child(ren)'s brilliance, special talents and worth by being grateful for what she/he/they is/are and does/do.

Tip #5:

The more you focus on the positives of your child(ren), the more you will experience them.

One of the most powerful aspects of Conscious Creation ✨🌟💫  is that whatever you focus on gets bigger. So if you spend much of the day nagging about all the things your child(ren) isn't/aren't doing, or all the bad things your child(ren) is/are doing, you simply attract more of these frustrating experiences to you (and her/him/them). Instead, choose to take affirmative steps to create the behaviors you want by simply noticing and being grateful for what you do like. One of my favorite parenting gratitude techniques is the "Dog Factor." Dogs unconditionally show us love and affection—greeting us at the door enthusiastically, whether we‘ve been gone for two days or two minutes. Apply this approach to your child(ren). Beam with love when she/he/them come(s) home or when she/he/they enter(s) the room. Remember that no matter what you are experiencing right now with your family, there are thousands of people in this world (like those who can’t have kids) who would gladly trade places with you. 

Parents often ask me about discipline.  Discipline only teaches children to do better next time, when they feel better. 

Discipline doesn't have to feel bad to be effective. In fact, most discipline based on punitive punishment (things like yelling and taking away privileges) teaches our kid(s) to lie and not get caught next time. You reap what you sow. Thus, if your punishment is focused on rehashing all the bad things your child(ren) has/have done, you are attracting more of this bad behavior.  It’s law. The Law of Attraction.  Choose to Consciously Create  ✨🌟💫 instead.

For discipline to really inspire your child(ren) to do better next time it needs to:

1. Be respectful

2. Focus on the solution (and how to do better next time)

By filling your home with gratitude for all you do have and with positive words and actions and acting on your authentic 🌟 Highest Excitement,🌟 you will begin to experience more pleasant interactions and actively create the family life of your dreams.

Now please re-read Tip #1 so you remember that you’re a badass and doing the very best you can and …. you’re about to do even better!  Not because you suck but because it’s so much fun finding a better way!  Remember, your authentic self is always satisfied where she/he is and reaching for more.  This is the optimal state of being.

I believe in you. 🌈💫❤️😊🙏🏻